We’re paralyzed with indecision. How can we possibly select which jam this Swann Wireless MP3 Doorbell System will blast whenever we get a visitor? It’s like having a ringtone for the whole darned house. But do we go Pachelbel-classy or Taio-Cruz-funky? What about greeting our nerd buddies with a snippet of Mr. Roboto? Luckily for us, this handy device stores up to twenty-five songs, making it a breeze for us to swap them. Available at bestbuy.com for only $50
When you’re short on acreage for a garden, grow one on your walls, deck rail, or fence. Each Wallter Outdoor Wall Planter has enough space for herbs, edible greens, annuals, or other small to medium-sized greenery. Attaching a few colored pots filled with flora adds dimension and color to your otherwise drab vertical spaces. (Hanging a few potted prickly cacti around your perimeter may discourage intruders, too!) Available at 2modern for only $72
Despite the fact that the name “Lockitron” would seem to suggest that the device belongs on the set of Transformers 4 (Why?), it’s actually a genius gadget. The small box is installed over your door’s lock and requires only a quick sync and setup via your mobile device. Ta-da! You are now able to lock and unlock your door from anywhere in the world. All it takes is the press of a button on the Lockitron app, which also alerts you when your door has been locked or unlocked by someone else, and gives you peace of mind when you need to double-check that you locked up the house when you left. Available at lockitron.com for only $179, preorder
When we went to college in Ireland, we lived in a decaying 19th-century house. We weren’t so crazy about the unheated bathrooms or the drafty windows, but we absolutely loved having something very like this Sheila Maid Clothes Airer hanging in the high-ceilinged kitchen. It was a perfect way to dry those Aran sweaters and wool mittens without adding to the already significant clutter. Available at ancientindustries.com for only $135
It’s always the hardcore fans who head to games in subzero temperatures. You, of course, are both hardcore and smart for parking your bum on a Heated Seat Cushion from VentureHeat. Sure, you probably spend half the game on your feet yelling at the refs, but when you plop back down to inhale a footlong, you’ll be warmed by the seat’s XCT heating elements (which reach up to 85 degrees). Available at thewarmingstore.com for only $69
We’ll admit, the newly-launched Starbucks Verismo is a bit on the expensive side. But when we think about how much cash we spend having the baristas froth our lattes each morning, the price tag starts looking more and more worth it. We can make café-quality coffee, espresso, or lattes all by pushing a button. Maybe we should brew a buncha drinks and start a Starbucks franchise out of our homes! We kid, Starbucks reps, lest you come hunt us down for brand infringement! Available at surlatable.com for only $200
Our special mushroom-tea-drinking days may be long behind us, but we still like to try to get in touch with our psychedelic side every once in a while. We’re pretty sure we could zone ourselves out to someplace interesting with nothing more than this Full Moon Party Copper Fire Dome. We’ll just have to get our brains to the outer limits quickly, since we’re not entirely sure how to go about feeding this fire once we’ve got it rolling. Available at homedecorworld.com for only $379
We don’t actually have an espresso maker, but we can still serve our drip espresso roast in the Fellina Sok-Cham Espresso Set, right? The compact set is perfect for a little after-meal pick-me-up. And hey, our guests may be so taken with their cup and spoon that they don’t realize our coffee skills are a little on the weak side. Cleanup is a breeze; the cups and spoons are both dishwasher-safe. Available at momastore.org for only $65
Full-time hot tubs are a pain in the rear. For the three or four times a year you actually use the darned thing, you’ve got to spend ages – and plenty of cash – filling it with chemicals. Never mind the cost of the electricity to keep it hot. That’s why we’ll skip the permanent units and get this Spa2Go Inflatable Hot Tub instead. Pump it up, fill it with your garden hose, and it will heat the water to your preferred temperature. And yes, there are jets. As long as the squirrels in the garage don’t chew a hole in it when we’re not looking, we’re set. Available at brookstone.com for only $735
Want the stars to align for your summer bonfire and keep the rains at bay? Up your celestial favor factor by toasting s’mores (burnt offerings, you know?) over the Stars & Moon Big Sky Fire Pit. And please, invite us over? We’re in the middle of a s’more deficit and could really stand to scarf some down as soon as possible! Available at lnt.com for only $166